"The debate was wearing me out. Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't. Anything I thought or did was immediately drawn into the debate. Made a stupid remark--why not kill myself? Missed the bus--better put an end to it all. Even the good got in there. I liked that movie--maybe I shouldn't kill myself."
-- Susanna Kaysen
I need to end this ongoing 6 or 7 month debate. It's getting exhausting. Emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I should hate the world...but that'd be too tiring
Connie: You KNOW you'll NEVER be whole again. Why are you copping out on putting an end to it? There is no hope, and you know it. You are standing in the piss, always known it'd come to this. What is the sense in living? There SERIOUSLY is none. And I'm NOT even being illogical in saying this. I'm not some stupid dumbass teenager caught up in drama and kills themselves without thinking it through. I have a serious and terminal problem. I am being forced to kill myself. Yeah it's grim and morbid but it's the truth. There's NOTHING that could help me. Unless miracles exist.
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