Crawling on my hands and knees, the scum of ALL humanity

So, I'm kind of....fucked for life. Don't know what to do and haven't for the past 4/5 months. Somehow, I'm still alive. Miraculously. I mean the hell I've been through should have killed me alone, I'm not even referring to the suicidal thoughts I've been having for the past couple of months. Anything animated in me has run short. All the life in me has been smuggled away ravenously. By what? I don't believe in the devil. Gotta blame it on science. Fuck you science...I was an avid follower of you all through school. You intrigued and sustained me. I knew you were too good to be true. In the end, you horse jacked me.