The Light. What Light?

I am standing in the piss, always knew it'd come to this...

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

I am pissed off. Why, out of one in a million chances did what happen to me happen to me? Nothing is fucking with me. There is no alive power. Statistics and science hate me. That's what hates me. But...but what pisses me off all the more is that in all my misery, all I want is more misery. I am in misery in wishing that my misery would multiply itself. I want desolation. And that's what I was before, a big ball of desolation. Now I'm desolate to know that I'm not as much of a desolate person? Quite frankly, that just... don't make no sense. But I suppose, what I really want is my old soul back, the soul that stretched far. The soul that screamed, not whispered. I not only want more misery, I want more happiness, I want more of everything. Every emotion. I want everything to be heightened from this point as it was before. More life. A more moving and meaningful experience on this earth. Not a robotic regime.

Only when you stumble upon the realization that there is, indeed, no light...
have you begun to finally and actually see the light.